Stimulus: Noun
Definition: A tremendous American policy failure
enacted in 2009.
Definition: A tremendous American policy failure
enacted in 2009.
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By JEREMY WILSHIRE
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The word "stimulus" having become stained after the failure of his
$787 billion dollar stimulus bill, President Barack Obama consulted the thesaurus for a word
equivalent in meaning to "stimulus" in order to describe his new package of economic
proposals. After a series of heated debates between his economic team and his political
advisory staff, the president settled upon several words that provided the same meaning as
“stimulus” but did not bring to mind the colossally expensive legislative mistake that did
nothing to improve the economy.
Obama’s economic team, led by Tim Geithner, urged use of the word ‘catalyst’ while his
political team, led by David Axelrod, urged the president to pursue ‘inducement.’ According to
sources familiar with the debate, Geithner felt that ‘inducement’ was too close to ‘stimulus’ in
meaning, and would quickly be thought of by the country as a ruse designed to trick people
into supporting a smaller version of the 2009 stimulus bill.
Axelrod, however, felt that there were two problems with ‘catalyst.’ The first was that since
most American public schools barely teach their students to read—much less have their
students attend chemistry classes in which they might be exposed to the word—few Americans
would know what the word meant. The second issue was that Axelrod felt ‘catalyst’ was itself a
too thinly-veiled version of ‘stimulus,’ and would quickly expose the ‘new’ proposals as simply
recycled ideas of the past that have proven to fail.
Obama ended the debate by deciding to use almost all of the words found in the thesaurus as a
sort of verbal ‘cocktail.’ The purpose of this wider approach was to make the word pool more
diffuse, allowing talking heads from both his administration and the media to pick and choose
which non-‘stimulus’ word they could use to describe his new stimulus proposals. This, in turn,
would add a further layer of psychological separation between the new economic proposals
and the hopelessly ineffective and widely-hated stimulus bill.
Use of the thesaurus appears likely to pay off politically for the president, as few Americans
will be able to see the new economic policy proposals as simply disguised stimulus measures
when they are called a different name. According to a poll taken just before this article went to
press, only 18% of likely voters in the midterm elections were able to identify a ‘catalyst bill’ as
being the same thing as a ‘stimulus bill.’
Said Obama at a Friday press conference in which he introduced the new stimulus proposals,
“this new package of inducements for business will provide both the incentive and
encouragement to jump-start the economy.... a sort of catalyst to kick-start or boost the
growth of jobs”
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The word "stimulus" having become stained after the failure of his
$787 billion dollar stimulus bill, President Barack Obama consulted the thesaurus for a word
equivalent in meaning to "stimulus" in order to describe his new package of economic
proposals. After a series of heated debates between his economic team and his political
advisory staff, the president settled upon several words that provided the same meaning as
“stimulus” but did not bring to mind the colossally expensive legislative mistake that did
nothing to improve the economy.
Obama’s economic team, led by Tim Geithner, urged use of the word ‘catalyst’ while his
political team, led by David Axelrod, urged the president to pursue ‘inducement.’ According to
sources familiar with the debate, Geithner felt that ‘inducement’ was too close to ‘stimulus’ in
meaning, and would quickly be thought of by the country as a ruse designed to trick people
into supporting a smaller version of the 2009 stimulus bill.
Axelrod, however, felt that there were two problems with ‘catalyst.’ The first was that since
most American public schools barely teach their students to read—much less have their
students attend chemistry classes in which they might be exposed to the word—few Americans
would know what the word meant. The second issue was that Axelrod felt ‘catalyst’ was itself a
too thinly-veiled version of ‘stimulus,’ and would quickly expose the ‘new’ proposals as simply
recycled ideas of the past that have proven to fail.
Obama ended the debate by deciding to use almost all of the words found in the thesaurus as a
sort of verbal ‘cocktail.’ The purpose of this wider approach was to make the word pool more
diffuse, allowing talking heads from both his administration and the media to pick and choose
which non-‘stimulus’ word they could use to describe his new stimulus proposals. This, in turn,
would add a further layer of psychological separation between the new economic proposals
and the hopelessly ineffective and widely-hated stimulus bill.
Use of the thesaurus appears likely to pay off politically for the president, as few Americans
will be able to see the new economic policy proposals as simply disguised stimulus measures
when they are called a different name. According to a poll taken just before this article went to
press, only 18% of likely voters in the midterm elections were able to identify a ‘catalyst bill’ as
being the same thing as a ‘stimulus bill.’
Said Obama at a Friday press conference in which he introduced the new stimulus proposals,
“this new package of inducements for business will provide both the incentive and
encouragement to jump-start the economy.... a sort of catalyst to kick-start or boost the
growth of jobs”
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